Dr. Yes's 11-Point Sacred Spiritual Path to Your Soul's Enlightenment at Burning Man, and Everything Bagel Recipe
A couple years ago around this time, I remember reading an article by Caveat Magister about his reflections on 10 years at Burning Man and thinking to myself, "I know nothing yet, but in two years, I will have so much to share."
Having been to Burning Man ten times now myself, we can all agree that I've achieved transcendental enlightenment and it's time for you to sit down, be quiet, and try to appreciate everything I've learned.
Each principle is represented by a different body part, and is meant to be read left to right, with the b&w left-hand portion representing the default world and the colorful right side showing an ideal world as transformed by that principle. I think they're pretty gorgeous.
They're packed with references to Burning Man art from the past, and you can have fun finding Larry's hat in each one. Enjoy!
As regular readers of this blog know, I'm a big proponent for keeping the weird, quirky, and subversive in Burning Man. Last year, a group of us in my camp started Weirdout Wednesday as a day for people to let their freak flags fly and escape the bonds of Instagram coolness. Granted, it's hard to be truly weird at Burning Man, but think of it as a call to embrace your quirky side rather than DJ chase or pose for Instagram shots on big art or whatnot!
So, here's how some of us from our camp - Friendgasm - celebrated Weirdout Wednesday this year. My hope is that others feel inspired by these kinds of antics and are moved to shenanigans themselves!
Diapers and Vuvuzelas
There wasn't much photobombing to be had at either Duck Pond or Distrikt (that's a good thing imo!) so we mostly just danced, played our instruments cacophonously, and generally tried to make spectacles out of ourselves while strangers put on diapers and joined us. Best moment was when four of our group managed to get up in the cage hanging above the dance floor with the Weirdout Wednesday flag!
Some limited video of WoW. When you're busy partying and poopin' at the same time, there's not a lot of time for pics or vids!
Playing Oregon Trail On The Side Of The 747
One of my campmates, Ginger, brought a projector out to the playa, so we put it and a generator on a bike trailer and a few of us pedaled out to the 747's home to play us some of the very classic video game Oregon Trail on the big white side of the plane.
Anyway, we get there, the generator is on, projector is hooked up, the laptop is open and about to be logged into when the 747 starts moving. No problem we think, it's slow as balls, we'll just follow it. But, then we realized it was heading to Mayan Warrior, waaaay across the playa. We didn't feel like walking all our bikes that far with the gennie and projector and such, so the projector was strapped to the seat of a bike with the laptop strapped to the projector so we could play while moving. The generator fired up, and boom, we livened up a giant metal tube while it was being towed across the playa with some classic educational video game fun, if dying of terrible diseases is your idea of fun, at least.
A distraction? At fucking Burning Man? Heaven forfend! I'm quite sure if your crew can handle walking a 747 across the playa past umpteen art cars and art pieces while ending up at the mother of all distractions - Mayan Warrior - it can handle a little 1970s video game goodness.
We briefly debated just ignoring her and firing the game up again as it's not like there's any particular reason to listen to some random rude person yelling at us on the playa, but she was obviously having a bad day and we were feeling kind of hungry by now so it was time to move onto the final installment of Weirdout Wednesday for us!
(Plus, Ginger had just gotten dysentery. Thank god we had leftover adult diapers from earlier in the day...)
Our Dark Lord Loves A Good Grilled Cheese
We interpreted these difficulties, correctly as it turns out, to mean that we had been insufficiently assiduous in our worship of the Son of the Morning. Clearly, we had to rectify this.
Luckily, one of our camp-mates, Click Click, had a plan and we were only too eager to help make it happen. We pedaled out to deep playa and set up an LED pentagram to signal our fealty to the Dragon and as a beacon to other servants of the Dark. There, we planned to grill up some grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup.
What you unclaimed souls may not understand is the importance of grilled cheese and tomato soup in Satanism. It's referenced multiple times in the various ancient unholy documents we use to guide ourselves on this left-hand path upon which we walk.
I fired up some appropriate music - Runnin' with the Devil, Breakin' the Law, Highway to Hell, Number of the Beast, etc - and then Click Click and others started cooking up unpermitted sandwiches and soup on a propane grill and burner brought out for that purpose. Getting a health permit for it had been deemed blasphemous, for our souls may only belong to one Lord, and it is not the Nevada Dept of Health. We weep for those who fall prey to the temptations of the false gods of the bureaucratic and hide-bound right-hand path. Resist, and walk ye not there!
At first, it was just our group, but the Great Beast heard our cries and read the intentions in our hearts, and in small groups almost our entire camp of 30 managed to find us in deep playa, that they may participate in this most unholy of rituals. (Seriously, it was amazing. I think 25 of our camp members managed to find what had started as a small group of 7 or 8 with no preset meeting point).
Soon, others with the Morning Light in their souls found us, and while we preached to them of the Glory of the Original Rebel and urged them to consume the sustenance while giving thanks and praise to Him, they gathered in awe and lo, they did eat of the body of the Cheese and the Bread and drink of the blood of the Tomato, and were made deliciously impure thusly.
In the end, Lucifer Himself appeared to us, clad in a silver mask, and nodded His approval. We took this as an excellent sign, and indeed, our exit from Burning Man was, in contrast to our entry, flawless.
While Wednesday was now over, we decided we'd go celebrate as a group by going to see a set by Fleetmac Wood at Camp Illuminaughty, who, if they aren't Satanists, really ought to consider it.
The Devil really digs Fleetwood Mac mashups, you know.
"Ye shall know the Music of the Beast by its wood that is fleet." - Melek Taus, a Yezidi Devil-Prophet from the 11th century, translated from the Kurdish.
And when that was over, we went back to our lair at Friendgasm and threw an afterparty in our dome where we spoke in tongues, danced widdershins, and sacrificed many a birgin until dawn. It's possible some hot and spicy Doritos were also involved, but I will confirm no specifics.
Weirdout Wednesday was the best day of the Burn for me!
Keep It Weird, Burning Man!
I'm Dr. Yes, a 10 year burner. I run this site, was on the '15 Temple team, lead a theme camp called Friendgasm, and make Burning Man videos. Just say yes, folks, and help keep Burning Man weird!